One *little* step at a time
Sometimes, the small things feel overwhelming. I remember, in the middle of my divorce, sitting in a pile of papers and bills, and credit card statements, and feeling submerged. Literally, like I couldn't catch my breath or get my head above water. I was watching the bank accounts dwindle, sending more and more money to attorneys, service people, kids schools and activity providers, babysitters - you name it. There was no way I was going to be able to solve it all, and I couldn't even start.
A good friend at the time popped over to drop something off and found me sitting in the middle of the living room floor, surrounded by papers, with my dog looking on anxiously. She ended up staying to help me unscramble just one thing. That day, it turned out to be the wifi password and internet account passwords. We had to start somewhere, and she had a technical streak, so we started there. We changed the wifi password, called AT&T to change my plan, and set up new login passwords for my email, social media, Netflix, and some of the other obvious accounts where I didn't want anyone else. (If you're like me, when you've lived with someone long enough, you can pretty easily guess each others' passwords - even short of the fact that half of them are based on anniversaries and shared pets.)
No, we didn't solve all the problems, fix all the things, or even make huge headway, but we fixed one thing. And some days, fixing one thing is all it takes to feel a *little* more in control, to feel a *little* more self-sufficient, to be able to take just a *little* bigger breath.
I don't think she even knows what a big difference that day made, but if I run into her again, I should probably tell her.